I find I'm still kind of bummed about my tubal. A friend of mine called me tonight to tell me she's pregnant and I found that I was jealous...the tubal was done more for my family (sorry to be honest guys) than for me. I got sick of hearing how I shouldn't have any more children, I KNOW it's not advisable for me to be having a bunch of babies and raising them alone, I also know that I have 3 beautiful, healthy children, that still doesn't stop me from mourning all the ones that will now never be. I know I would have liked to have one more, right after I had Rhiannon I didn't want ANY more, 36 hours of labour will do that for you, but now, after watching her growing and meeting milestones it makes my heart yearn for another life to coax along. Oh well, I better not dwell on what cannot be changed and enjoy the present and the children who are here and tangible. Yet, I cannot help but feel a minor bit of melancholy for that shadow child. Until next post, Be Thou Blessed.









